Optimism Practice: Slow and Steady Wins the Race
It was at this point that I noticed how our guide traversed the land with grace and ease, effortlessly chugging along on the way up the mountain. I asked him what his secret was, half-jokingly and not expecting much of a response. “Just one foot in front of the other,” he said back to me. “I don’t look at the top of the mountain, and how far away it seems. I just think about the next step I have to take.”
When our guide said that to me, I was reminded of a piece of ancient wisdom from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, who reminds us that the “journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Armed with this reminder, I stopped thinking about how on earth I would be able to finish the entire trek and reach the summit. Instead, I began thinking about how I would make it through the next step, the next quarter mile, the next mile, and so forth. I became more immersed in the present moment, and was even more able to experience and appreciate the beauty that surrounded me. Before I knew it, I was standing at the top of the pass, out of breath and exhausted, but happy.
Pessimism often stems from feeling that we cannot possibly reach the finish line from where we are standing. We look off in the distance and the ground in between where we are and where we wish to go feels insurmountable. But just as we cannot scale an entire ladder in one single step, we must remember that the path to reaching our goals is a longer journey. In this optimism-building exercise, we’ll be thinking about goals that you have for the future, and breaking them up into more manageable sub-goals. Whereas large-scale goals can sometimes feel overwhelming and unachievable, the steps in between are eminently doable. By focusing on these instead, we can shift from pessimism to optimism.
Instructions: Take a moment and reflect on some of the goals and dreams you have for the future. Consider different domains of your life, including your career, relationship, friendships, and family. Although reflecting on these hopes can feel inspiring and exciting at times, it can also feel overwhelming when we think of tackling it all at once. Pessimism can often set in, making us feel less able to achieve out goals. To overcome this obstacle, it can be helpful to break down our larger goals and dreams into shorter-term sub-goals that can be completed a step at a time. You can use any format that works for you, but if it helps, feel free to use the following prompts to get you started:
Long-Term Goal:
When I hope to achieve this by:
What is the first step I need to take in order to achieve this?
Who can I turn to for help in reaching my goal?
What do I need to accomplish within 1 month?
What do I need to accomplish within 3-6 months?
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Jonah Paquette, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist, speaker and author. He is the author of Real Happiness (PESI Publishing, 2015), a research-based self-help book in which he distills the key findings in the fields of happiness and offers user-friendly tools to achieve lasting well-being. His second book, The Happiness Toolbox (PESI Publishing, 2018), offers readers an array of easy-to-use handouts and exercises designed to enhance happiness in a lasting way. His latest book, Awestruck, explores the psychological and health benefits of awe and wonder.
Jonah is also the assistant regional training director for Kaiser Permanente in Northern California, where he helps to manage a large mental health training program spanning over 20 medical centers. In addition to his clinical work and writing, Jonah offers training and consultation to therapists and organizations on the promotion of well-being and regularly conducts professional workshops around the country. He is also a frequent media contributor, having been featured in print, online, and radio outlets. He has a passion for imparting the key findings related to happiness and wellbeing with a broader audience, and he is honored to share these with you.
Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Dr. Jonah Paquette has an employment relationship with The Clinic and receives compensation as a consultant and trainer. He receives royalties as a published author. Dr. Paquette receives a speaking honorarium, recording royalties, and book royalties from Psychotherapy Networker and PESI, Inc. He has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Dr. Jonah Paquette is a member of the American Psychological Association, the California Psychological Association, and the Marin County Psychological Association.
Richard Schwartz, PhD began his career as a family therapist and an academic at the University of Illinois at Chicago. There he discovered that family therapy alone did not achieve full symptom relief, and in asking patients why, he learned that they were plagued by what they called "parts." These patients became his teachers as they described how their parts formed networks of inner relationship that resembled the families he had been working with. He also found that as they focused on and, thereby, separated from their parts, they would shift into a state characterized by qualities like curiosity, calm, confidence and compassion. He called that inner essence the Self and was amazed to find it even in severely diagnosed and traumatized patients. From these explorations, the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model was born in the early 1980s.
IFS is now evidence-based and has become a widely-used form of psychotherapy, particularly with trauma. It provides a non-pathologizing, optimistic, and empowering perspective and a practical and effective set of techniques for working with individuals, couples, families, and more recently, corporations and classrooms.
In 2013, Schwartz left the Chicago area and now lives in Brookline, MA where he is on the faculty of the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Dr. Richard Schwartz is the Founder and President of the IFS Institute. He maintains a private practice and has a employment relationship with Harvard Medical School. He receives royalties as a published author. Dr. Schwartz receives a speaking honorarium, recording, and book royalties from Psychotherapy Networker and PESI, Inc. He has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Dr. Richard Schwartz is a fellow of Meadows Behavioral Healthcare and is a member of the American Family Therapy Academy and the American Association for Marital and Family Therapy. He is a contributing editor for Family Therapy Networker. Dr. Schwartz serves on the editorial boards for the Journal of Feminist Family Therapy, the Contemporary Family Therapy, the Journal of Family Psychotherapy, and the Family Therapy Collections.
